im not a pumpkin

i knew that i should’ve ignored the tweet,

but i was personally wounded when i read

that depression wasn’t real;

if it weren’t then my uncle wouldn’t

have suffered or felt the need

to take his own life

i am still triggered by that tweet,

because if depression weren’t real i wouldn’t

have thought of ending my own life

as a pre-teen;

my uncle’s death was a wake-up call

taught me i didn’t really want to die

i just wanted all this pain and rage inside

of me to be carved out like one scoops out

pumpkin seeds, i wanted to scoop out all

the damaged parts of me;

but that’s not how it works

i’m not a pumpkin.





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