Sanguine

Invisible walls, I know my limits.
People pass by; I remain a specter, a spectator.
Lost in the flow, I form an island.
Do they see me? I fear the answer.
Shuffle here, shuffle there; I always fall a step behind.
Laughter and camaraderie, I am an aberration.
Reaching out, I become disoriented; there is fire in my gut.
Withdraw and retreat, I hide in a tome, a tomb.
The walls are a comfort, the walls are a killer.

Isolation by presumption, I forgot how to ask.
A phantom pain, I took those bullets years ago.
Flashbacks and nightmares, I stand alone in a sea of blood.
My initiation began my destruction, I transmogrify and cannot return.
Did I forget how to assimilate? Perhaps I never really knew.
Broken skin and hemorrhages, I am sanguine, I am safe.
The past sinks into the present, I surrender to the current.

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