The Paddleboard Race


A paddleboard race sounded like a wonderful idea,
Because the summer is ending and the island is emptying,
Could a summer of paddling endlessly on this lake
Deny me one last chance to show off my athletic prowess?

Every person who is seemingly left on this island is here,
Forget about summer ending–where did all these people come from?
Guessing “10000” offseason residents all love to paddleboard,
How could I think this was going to be just a casual row?

Imagine a Lake with over 150 paddleboarders,
Just congregating like the seagulls swarming overhead,
Kayaks, canoes, and other boats are participating too,
Lovely weather and a calm lake brings them out of the woodwork,
Mostly paddlers, but also their kids and their dogs!
No way I expected to see Fido upright in his doggie life jacket on the front of that board.
Overloading my senses, I hear splashing, talking, barking, and commotion.

Perhaps this was a mistake, I think nervously at the starting line
Questioning myself now–while upright and finding my balance–may not be the best move
Race time is upon us, and the gun goes off
Surprised by the mass movement, I realize I have been hit
Thump! Goes a rogue reckless rowboat into the back of my paddleboard

Under the water is where I find myself,
Very annoyed, as my head pops up from the waves, feet hit the sandy ground (it is a shallow pond)
“We have our first man down” I hear from under the water
Exasperated, I feel like a flopping fish trying to get back onto the board;
Yes, I have that honor. Today I will come in first in one event–although I am a
Zero in the record books, I have the honor of being the first in the slimy water.