I never wanted anything to die

I’ve been trying to understand
the relationship between your hands – chubby, grabby, reaching up –
and the bumblebee
floating in your paddling pool – drowned,
bloated,
sickly-sweet.

One day there will be a reckoning –
when your heart breaks you can blame me and I won’t have an answer.
I will try and mumble something
about the birds,
the trees, the sunrise,
the ineffable beauty
making it all worth it.
But then you’ll be too clever
to believe such excuses.

What right did I have
to give you everything?

 

 

Irene Cantizano Bescós is a writer from Spain. As a child, she wanted to become a dolphin trainer, but then she realised that words are even better than slippery marine mammals. Her non-fiction has appeared in Spanish and British publications such as El País, Telva and Positive News. She recently won Castilla y Leon International Fantasy Film Festival’s short story competition and the Serious Flash Fiction competition 2019. Somehow, she has ended up living in England with a husband, two cats and a brand new milk-gulping monster.

 

 

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